Whether you’re just thinking about it or have already decided to become a single mother by choice (SMC), you’re going to have a lot of questions! Facebook groups can be a great place to lurk around for a while to gather information, to make fellow SMC friends, or to ask questions you didn’t even know you needed to ask.
Single mothers by choice community
I know when I started this process I was curious if there were other women out there like me. Boy was I in for a surprise! Not only are there a crap ton of amazing women who have decided to put family-making into their own hands, it is also one of the most supportive groups of women to be a part of.
In fact, there are over 30,000 members in the Single Mothers by Choice community started in 1981 by Jane Mattes, LCSW alone. Also a good option to find your village, a paid membership provides peer support through local chapters and an active online private discussion board, as well as newsletters.
faceboook groups to join
If you’d like to start out with a cheaper option, Facebook groups can be an excellent place to start.
The biggest group for SMCs, with about 8600 members is the group simply called Single Mothers by Choice. It is not affiliated with the non-profit organization listed above, they do have a Facebook page, but not a group. This group is for “women who have chosen or are thinking of having children through donor insemination, adoption, egg or embryo donation or other assisted means making them single mothers by their own choice.” It is highly moderated and good for those that are just starting on their journey.
My own personal favorite group is Single Mothers by Choice Tryers (SMC TTC). It is smaller with about 2200 members due to the fact that it tailored to those who are in the trying phase: “whether by IUI (intrauterine insemination), IVF, at home insemination, whether using donor sperm or egg or embryo, we will support one another in our journeys.” I find this group the most supportive and helpful.
Though not quite as active and a lot smaller, another group for those in the trying stage is Single Mom by Choice TTC.
more options
After that, they get more specific by age or means of insemination, tailored to IUI/IVF only for example, or are sister groups to the ones mentioned above for once you get pregnant or are parenting as a single mother by choice, which are always options as you travel through your journey.
Lastly, If you are choosing to go the known donor route or are thinking about it, there is a trustworthy group called Supporting Known Donor Families, moderated by the same founder of Single Mothers by Choice Tryers (SMC TTC), a great place to go for questions related to using known donors.
Other groups to consider joining are the ones for donor conceived children such as Parents of Donor Conceived Children and Donor Conceived People, Siblings, Parents, and Donors (Sperm, Egg, Embryo), which can be especially helpful when considering your future child’s point of view and what their experience might be as a donor conceived child.
Both membership in the Single Mothers by Choice community and joining the various Facebook groups can be an important first step for women considering or starting their journey as a SMC. It takes a village, and these can be great options to start building yours.
